my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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