Got a toothbrush?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize