You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize