Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize