Your tits are I can't wait for
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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