how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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