If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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