I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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