It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
