Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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