Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
