Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
