I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
