Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
