my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
