Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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