is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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