dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
