she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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