Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
