My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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