Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
