So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
your room smells of hookers.
And success
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
