i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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