Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
