dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
