I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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