her vagine was all disorganized.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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