Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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