There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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