im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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