i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
