she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
