Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
