THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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