people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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