I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She even gives head with a lisp.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
It's never too late to be topless.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
