but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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