I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Come share oat with me in your robe
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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