Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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