Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
