We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
this must be what syphilis tastes like
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Even my vagina gasped.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
