It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize