So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
