sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
this will be a night to untag.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
