I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
