I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
