Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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