youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
