i don't like sucking hair
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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