Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
