at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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