Kiss
Puke
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
