Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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