i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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