Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
