She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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