Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
