I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
