I think scott just propositioned me for sex
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
