ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
