I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
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