don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
